A NEW LIFE

At ten-thirty this morning, we got a new life line for our Democracy.  

Our nightmare for the last four years will soon be at its end. 

I celebrate this moment for my children, for my grandchildren, and for my country.

CANCER SURVIVOR

It has been over six months since my surgery. I am, at the moment, cancer free and taking no medication. I am a cancer survivor. 

All things considered, I am doing well. My maxillary prosthesis is in place, my energy level is up, I am eating more of my "soft diet", and I am not in pain. On top of all, since the Coronavirus is still raging around here, we, at the Conservatory, are required to wear masks. A good disguise for my lopsided and puffy face.

Dining at the Conservatory is partially restored. Residents could make reservation for dining in the dining room. Masks are required and 'social distancing' is to be maintained. Unless the two of you are a Couple, you dine alone. Therefore, we find mostly "one lone diner at one table." Most of us still use the Takeout service.    

We have some activities planned, to make us feel better, I suppose. But life is not the same as before. How long this is to last, we don't know.

The country is still in a turmoil. Virus is raging in many places. Unrest dominants daily.

What happens in November for the people is anybody's guess. 

Life goes on . . . .

 

Putting Humpty Dumty BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

The Virus situation is not letting-up any where I am - in Texas. We are to wear masks and keep social distancing from anyone.
The number of people being sick with the virus keeps going up and the number of death rising.

Now, it has been five and half months since my operation. I am finally back in my apartment at the Conservatory.

The doctors and therapists are trying to make me whole. I am supposed to be doing well for someone in my impaired condition.

But it takes a long time to learn to be more or less normal, let alone being whole again.

My oldest daughter said that I needed to be patient, having gone through some very extensive surgery.

I am trying, but it is not easy.

I go for therapy to help with lymphedema.  
I go for therapy to help strengthen my neck and my limbs.
I go for therapy to help me learn how to swallow.
I go to the orthodontist for my prosthesis . . .
The sweet dental-specialist did say that the end is in sight. May be I could eat more normally then.

They are all trying to put this Humpty-Dumpty back together again.

Many of my fellow residents were surprised to see me, upright and walking - even though with the help of a walker, and comment how well I look. True, I had been absent from the Conservatory for several months. I do know that some did not think that I would survive the extensive operation. To tell the truth, I did not either. I did have my skillful and wonderful head/neck specialist-surgeon who gave me back my life.

So here I am. I do need to find some meaning to being here. 

Virus Invasion

While I am fighting my own personal battle, The Coronavirus invaded the world.

We came to the point of having Shutdowns in States, etc.

A worldwide crisis.

Even at the Conservatory, the dining-room is closed. Meals are to be delivered to our apartments. Social activities are curtailed. No visitors are allowed. Only Healthcare provided are allowed to enter. 

How long is this to last. We don't know. 

The stock market crashed.

The economy is sliding.

What next?

My sweet daughter and her husband decided that it is better for me to move in with them for the time being than to be left at the Conservatory since it was the new ruling that even family members were not welcome for visiting. So, we packed up what I needed for the time being and moved in with them.

I am one of the lucky ones. Many people have lost their jobs, etc. 

What next, indeed.

Begining A Journey

The road to recovery is long and slow. 

It has started. 

24 days ago, my wonderful surgeon got rid of my oral cancer after some 7 hours' hard and miraculous work at Methodist Hospital, in Dallas.
For the next two weeks, I breathed and was fed through tubes, etc. I cannot say that I remember much - there were endless nightmarish scenes I remember, of fighting the restrictions the nurses put on me, the many dying scenes (imaginary, as all those at the hospital would say; but, they were real to me.), and countless "baby steps" I took, such as learning to sit up, to stand up, to take a step  - one foot before the other - one step at a time . . .
Eventually, the tubes were gone. I was fed liquids and some purred foods. After being in the hospital ICU, for the most time, I was sent back to my home at the Conservatory - on the 3rd of this month.
Now, it has been Ten days after I have been at home.

True I am well on my way to recovery.
The hole in my neck has finally closed up.
The swelling on my face is much better. I still look like the Phantom though.
I can walk without help.
I can feed myself, after a fashion. No solids for a while yet.
Great improvement. I am trying to do word-puzzle everyday.
My Speech therapist is teaching me how to use my tongue. Saying certain alphabets are trying to me. I keep trying.
My energy level is rising, slowly and surely.
It is so good to talk to you.

Cancer Surgery

Yes, I went for the surgery. I had a wonderful, masterful surgeon. He cut me up and put me back together. I look a fretful sight, but they said that I will heal and be "normal-looking" more or less eventually. (The 'more or less' is my interpretation.)
Now, I have to learn how to eat, how to speak, etc. It is a long haul, I am sure. But I am here. 
I will relay to you some of my experiences as a patient in the hospital - I thought that I died five times and came back and so on. I also did some awesome imaginary paintings, made some wonderful music, so on ... Will tell.
Good to be with the world again.

Random Thoughts

Anything we fully do is a lone journey.

When you go over your work, be a Samarain - a great warrior with the courage to cut out anything that is not relevant. Don't be sentimental.

Our rooms are indications of our state of mind. A little apparent disorder is an indication of the fertility of the mind and someone who is actively creative.

We are the sum of our experiences.
In search to belong. A long identity crisis.

Absorb what is useful,
Reject what is useless,
Make life your own.

Cut out paper clutter -
File it,
Forward it,
Fix it, 
Fill it,
Forget about it.
Only keep what you love.

The Dammit Doll II

I can use the Dammit Doll myself.

Tha Dammit Doll

It all started when I was having lunch with one of the residents. She has cancer and was having a bad day. I said to her that I had just the thing for her. I will make her a Dammit Doll. 

Some years ago, when I belonged to an Art club in Ada, Oklahoma, and we were having a Christmas Party. One of the members made a bunch of clothes dolls for everyone at the Party - A Dammit Doll for each of us. She said that when things did not go well for us, we should get hold of the doll and slam it and swear. A great stress relief Tool!

So I made the lady a clothe doll with button-eyes and yarn-hair. I thought my doll had character, and she did, too.
Soon, I made several of them and gave them away, asking the recipients to make a donation for our Annual Employee Holiday Fund. We are nor permitted to give tips to our employees. So once a year, we collected money from the residents and distributed to all those who serve us all year long. We have the front desk helpers, the behind the desk helpers, the drivers, the housekeepers, the maintenance people, the kitchen staff, the dining room staff, and so on. All 50+ of them.

People started asking for the Dolls. One day, someone I hardly knew, asked me to make her 8 dolls. I looked at her and thought, What Nerve!

She said that she would pay for them. I thought Why Not. It pays for my expenses. So it started. Pretty soon, more people were asking me to make some dolls as presents to their grand-children, for their friends, and so on. I ended up giving a bunch of them away and sold quite a few. People were also giving me scarps of materials and unused buttons and so on.

The dolls brought smiles to many and laughters to some.

When I gave some dolls to those who have issues with their health or feeling sorry for themselves at times, thinking that their families abandoned them, real or imaginary . . .

That made me feel good.

So it went on with the Dammit Dall saga.

ANOTHER YEAR

Well, here I am - into the fourth year of my life at the Conservatory.

   

I have not changed too much – except being another year older, not nearly as healthy as when I first came here (not doing too badly for an almost 91-year-old though), and a bit more impatient with life at times.

However, much has happened at the Conservatory. We have had two new Directors, three new Chefs (one only lasted a week), two new Maintenance-directors, and A Very Large Stone Fireplace in the courtyard, with all the trimmings. Now, I ask you, why do we need a fireplace in the courtyard? We are in Texas! Most of the time the temperature is such, we need the AC more than Heating. Aw, such is Life. There are many things that we have no explanations for. True?

Now, don’t get me wrong, the Conservatory, as far as being a facility goes, is not too bad. We are being fed and being taking care of by an Army of Staff – all 50+ of them. Aside from our Executive Director, we have a business manager, a group of front-desk workers and behind the scene workers. Not to mention the Kitchen and dining-room staff and servers, the maintenance staff, the gardeners, the sometime painters (wall-painters, that is), and so on. No Security persons, though. An oversight??? But then, it is definitely not easy to take care of some two hundred old and stubborn, very opinionated, and grouchy people. Don’t you agree?

Life is not too bad really? Life is what you make it, after all.

I try to keep busy – lest I fall asleep in front of the TV. I paint a little, I read, I tend to my plants, I play Games several times a week with my new friends, etc. And believe it or not, I have been making Dammit Dolls for the last few months – mostly for people who live or work here. It is a stress release tool. When It brought some smiles to some who live here, it made me happy...

All my three daughters, and their spouses, are well.

Cynthia, my optometrist, retired this year, and her husband, Steve, the attorney, will retire soon.  Cynthia’s daughter, Natalie (my delightful grand-daughter) is now in Seattle, WA. Melinda and Mark take time out of their busy life to take care of me, here in TX.  Cissy and Rick (the physical therapist) are super-busy with work and raising two teen-agers, my grand-children, Boone, and Edie.

Wishing you Happy 2020 and a less Crazy Year on the political scene, my old and new friends.

From Loretta