Virus Invasion

While I am fighting my own personal battle, The Coronavirus invaded the world.

We came to the point of having Shutdowns in States, etc.

A worldwide crisis.

Even at the Conservatory, the dining-room is closed. Meals are to be delivered to our apartments. Social activities are curtailed. No visitors are allowed. Only Healthcare provided are allowed to enter. 

How long is this to last. We don't know. 

The stock market crashed.

The economy is sliding.

What next?

My sweet daughter and her husband decided that it is better for me to move in with them for the time being than to be left at the Conservatory since it was the new ruling that even family members were not welcome for visiting. So, we packed up what I needed for the time being and moved in with them.

I am one of the lucky ones. Many people have lost their jobs, etc. 

What next, indeed.

Begining A Journey

The road to recovery is long and slow. 

It has started. 

24 days ago, my wonderful surgeon got rid of my oral cancer after some 7 hours' hard and miraculous work at Methodist Hospital, in Dallas.
For the next two weeks, I breathed and was fed through tubes, etc. I cannot say that I remember much - there were endless nightmarish scenes I remember, of fighting the restrictions the nurses put on me, the many dying scenes (imaginary, as all those at the hospital would say; but, they were real to me.), and countless "baby steps" I took, such as learning to sit up, to stand up, to take a step  - one foot before the other - one step at a time . . .
Eventually, the tubes were gone. I was fed liquids and some purred foods. After being in the hospital ICU, for the most time, I was sent back to my home at the Conservatory - on the 3rd of this month.
Now, it has been Ten days after I have been at home.

True I am well on my way to recovery.
The hole in my neck has finally closed up.
The swelling on my face is much better. I still look like the Phantom though.
I can walk without help.
I can feed myself, after a fashion. No solids for a while yet.
Great improvement. I am trying to do word-puzzle everyday.
My Speech therapist is teaching me how to use my tongue. Saying certain alphabets are trying to me. I keep trying.
My energy level is rising, slowly and surely.
It is so good to talk to you.

Cancer Surgery

Yes, I went for the surgery. I had a wonderful, masterful surgeon. He cut me up and put me back together. I look a fretful sight, but they said that I will heal and be "normal-looking" more or less eventually. (The 'more or less' is my interpretation.)
Now, I have to learn how to eat, how to speak, etc. It is a long haul, I am sure. But I am here. 
I will relay to you some of my experiences as a patient in the hospital - I thought that I died five times and came back and so on. I also did some awesome imaginary paintings, made some wonderful music, so on ... Will tell.
Good to be with the world again.

Random Thoughts

Anything we fully do is a lone journey.

When you go over your work, be a Samarain - a great warrior with the courage to cut out anything that is not relevant. Don't be sentimental.

Our rooms are indications of our state of mind. A little apparent disorder is an indication of the fertility of the mind and someone who is actively creative.

We are the sum of our experiences.
In search to belong. A long identity crisis.

Absorb what is useful,
Reject what is useless,
Make life your own.

Cut out paper clutter -
File it,
Forward it,
Fix it, 
Fill it,
Forget about it.
Only keep what you love.

The Dammit Doll II

I can use the Dammit Doll myself.

Tha Dammit Doll

It all started when I was having lunch with one of the residents. She has cancer and was having a bad day. I said to her that I had just the thing for her. I will make her a Dammit Doll. 

Some years ago, when I belonged to an Art club in Ada, Oklahoma, and we were having a Christmas Party. One of the members made a bunch of clothes dolls for everyone at the Party - A Dammit Doll for each of us. She said that when things did not go well for us, we should get hold of the doll and slam it and swear. A great stress relief Tool!

So I made the lady a clothe doll with button-eyes and yarn-hair. I thought my doll had character, and she did, too.
Soon, I made several of them and gave them away, asking the recipients to make a donation for our Annual Employee Holiday Fund. We are nor permitted to give tips to our employees. So once a year, we collected money from the residents and distributed to all those who serve us all year long. We have the front desk helpers, the behind the desk helpers, the drivers, the housekeepers, the maintenance people, the kitchen staff, the dining room staff, and so on. All 50+ of them.

People started asking for the Dolls. One day, someone I hardly knew, asked me to make her 8 dolls. I looked at her and thought, What Nerve!

She said that she would pay for them. I thought Why Not. It pays for my expenses. So it started. Pretty soon, more people were asking me to make some dolls as presents to their grand-children, for their friends, and so on. I ended up giving a bunch of them away and sold quite a few. People were also giving me scarps of materials and unused buttons and so on.

The dolls brought smiles to many and laughters to some.

When I gave some dolls to those who have issues with their health or feeling sorry for themselves at times, thinking that their families abandoned them, real or imaginary . . .

That made me feel good.

So it went on with the Dammit Dall saga.

ANOTHER YEAR

Well, here I am - into the fourth year of my life at the Conservatory.

   

I have not changed too much – except being another year older, not nearly as healthy as when I first came here (not doing too badly for an almost 91-year-old though), and a bit more impatient with life at times.

However, much has happened at the Conservatory. We have had two new Directors, three new Chefs (one only lasted a week), two new Maintenance-directors, and A Very Large Stone Fireplace in the courtyard, with all the trimmings. Now, I ask you, why do we need a fireplace in the courtyard? We are in Texas! Most of the time the temperature is such, we need the AC more than Heating. Aw, such is Life. There are many things that we have no explanations for. True?

Now, don’t get me wrong, the Conservatory, as far as being a facility goes, is not too bad. We are being fed and being taking care of by an Army of Staff – all 50+ of them. Aside from our Executive Director, we have a business manager, a group of front-desk workers and behind the scene workers. Not to mention the Kitchen and dining-room staff and servers, the maintenance staff, the gardeners, the sometime painters (wall-painters, that is), and so on. No Security persons, though. An oversight??? But then, it is definitely not easy to take care of some two hundred old and stubborn, very opinionated, and grouchy people. Don’t you agree?

Life is not too bad really? Life is what you make it, after all.

I try to keep busy – lest I fall asleep in front of the TV. I paint a little, I read, I tend to my plants, I play Games several times a week with my new friends, etc. And believe it or not, I have been making Dammit Dolls for the last few months – mostly for people who live or work here. It is a stress release tool. When It brought some smiles to some who live here, it made me happy...

All my three daughters, and their spouses, are well.

Cynthia, my optometrist, retired this year, and her husband, Steve, the attorney, will retire soon.  Cynthia’s daughter, Natalie (my delightful grand-daughter) is now in Seattle, WA. Melinda and Mark take time out of their busy life to take care of me, here in TX.  Cissy and Rick (the physical therapist) are super-busy with work and raising two teen-agers, my grand-children, Boone, and Edie.

Wishing you Happy 2020 and a less Crazy Year on the political scene, my old and new friends.

From Loretta

My Battle With Modern Technology

Give me a challenge and tell me that I could not do it, I will prove you wrong, even if it kills me! 

Call me a stubborn old woman!

Except when it comes to modern technology. I surrender to:
    Computers
    Notebooks
    i-Pads
    i-pods 
May be even i-phones.

Give me back my Pen and Pad! (Pad of paper, I mean.)

I do enjoy being able to obtain information on the Net. I can find out the facts and correct my faulty memories on most any given topics. I can find out how I can go from Point A to Point B. I can gather information on most any subjects that I wish to learn.

Hooray for the Internet!

And I am awed as to what Power the Net has - it is allowing me to share My stories with you. Especially with those of you some thousands of miles away from me. All with a click of the Key. 

But, it also leaves it wide open to anyone in the world who wishes to invade my "domain." 

"The Big Brother is watching you." Remember "1984"? The book by Orwell.

It is here in this 21st century. 

It has also enabled unscrupulous people to gather, and sometimes alter, and spread false information about us. 

And we are helpless and not able to defend ourselves. 

So my advice to all is: Be mindful of what you say and wish for! 

You don't know who is listening!

A New Year

I cannot tell you how my "time" went. I have been living at the Conservatory for a little over two years now. But-

I have neglected to keep up with my writing. 

I have somewhat neglected to do some real painting.

You see, I have being piddling - doing little watercolor cards at the kitchen counter. Watercolor is cleaner and far less toxic than oil, and painting little watercolors takes little effort or thought. A cop out, I know. I make birthday cards and send them to selected "neighbors." They love the cards and praise me. Hence, I paint more little cards. What a "circle of events."

And, I have spent a lot of time watching News on television. What happens in the country worries me a lot. 

What is happening?

Throughout my ninety years, I had seen a lot, lived through a lot... 

I am not afraid of change, but I am afraid of "unreasonableness" and "madness."

I, like many, have "blinders" over my eyes, live on.

ON TURNING NINTY

Last Wednesday, I turned 90.

Among my ancestors, only my paternal grandmother lived past 90. I believe she was 94 or 95 when she passed away.
Grandmother refused to leave China when my family fled from the Communist invasion and went to Hong Kong in 1949. She and her second-daughter, my single aunt, lived together.  For almost thirty years, she lived under the terror and suffering from the new government. I vaguely remember stories about how she was made to live in only one part of her three story home, having to allow others to take over her other parts of the house. And, how, during the young Red Army "madness", she lost everything. The story was that somehow they found out about her diamonds hidden under the floor boards and confiscated them, among other things.   

My mother said, since my father's mother would not move to Hong Kong with us, she could not take her mother, my long-widowed maternal grandmother, to Hong Kong with us. Her logic, certainly not mine. If only I had any say-so in those days. I would have at lease made some "noise." Grandma went to live with one of her brothers-in-law and passed away a few years later.

And here I am, ninety-years-old, living comfortably in a nice two-bedroom apartment, in a modern and fast-growing part of Texas. I have a view of the most wonderful sunsets a lot of the times. I am well-fed and well-cared of. I am surrounded by some good friends and caring staff. I am well-loved by my children and their spouses, and by my grand-children. What is more - I can still walk without a cane. My middle daughter, Melinda, gave me a plaque that says, "Age is like a hat. It's all in how you wear it, Honey."

My cup runneth over.

My only worry is the "craziness" in the country.

I am not a praying type, but  for the sake of our children and grand-children, I am praying that "This will pass."