A Diversion - "Not Three, Not Four"

Some say that writing memoirs is like baring your soul. 
Some say that it is like presenting yourself buck-naked in front of everyone, including your family and friends, warts and all.

Here I merely want to tell you my story, with as much sincerity as I know. So bear with me if there are mistakes that I make along the way - be it grammatical, typo, or anything-else.

Hey, I used to revert to speaking Chinese in the middle of my conversation in English with someone, especially if and when I became agitated.   
I came from Shanghai, so I speak Shanghainese. I lived and married a Chinese-British (or we would say British-Chinese - so, you see) from Hong Kong, so I speak Cantonese (not perfectly, but passable). Then there is Mandarin, which is the official language in China, not a dialect. So, even in Speaking In Chinese, there are problems.

No, I don't speak Manchurian - that is a totally different language in writing and speaking.

After being here so many years in this small Southwestern town in the U.S.,where there are few Chinese who speak my language - remember, we have many, many dialects in China plus One official language - even my Chinese is not up to par.
When I say "speaking my language", I mean it literally and otherwise. Got me?

The more I write about my past life, the more I remember about all the happenings. I, myself, am overwhelmed. Or should I say, I is overwhelm. (There are no tenses in Chinese language. We use another word to modify the verb to indicate the tenses. And word orders are different. Strange? Not to the Chinese. May be I will give a Lesson in Chinese Language sometime.) 

For years, or maybe forever, I don't "belong".
Let me explain.
I am Chinese-American. But, let's face it, I am neither totally Chinese, nor totally American.
For many years when I was in Hong Kong and in England, I belonged to no country. Officially, I was a resident of Hong Kong. But no passport was issued to me. I was a true Citizen of the World until I married and became British.

Anyway, I will tell you about all that later.

We have a saying in Chinese - Not Three, Not Four. May be that is me.