The North And The South

S.C. returned to Hong Kong in the fall of 1957. His parents were, of course elated. They had not seen him since early 1940s. His mother was so happy to have her beloved son home at long last.

S.C. had spent all his savings to live on and to go back to UT that academic year, in order to earn his Master's degree. I really did not care whether he had much money or not. I had a fairly good job. I was sure that he would find a job. We would manage when we get married.

His mother gave him a nice diamond ring to give to me.
We were officially engaged.

My father thought that his family was not wealthy enough but he said that they did have a Name in HK, so it was acceptable.

You have to understand, the northern people in China do not mix too well with the southerners - much like the Yankees and the Southerners in the U.S. Both sides pride themselves as being superior to the other.

To S.C.'s older sister, I was always "the Girl from Shanghai."

To my parents, I was marrying outside our "Tribe", so to speak.

My father had a couple of meetings with S.C's father, discussing wedding plans.
Father wanted to have a big "ado" because I am his first daughter. My future father-in-law resisted, saying that they knew too many people in HK and he could not afford to feed hundreds of them all at a big wedding.

You see, it was the custom that both families foot the bill for the wedding, not just the Father of the Bride who did it.
And the Shanghai custom was such that most invited guests would give not only a present, but a fair amount of Cash to the newlyweds. So, it really would not cost the family much money.
The Cantonese, especially the Hk people, would only give a gift, and some Cash from close relatives to the newlyweds.
Hosting a sit down dinner for hundreds of people would cost a fortune.
The two of them could not come to an agreement.

We were not too happy that our parents were so rigid in their beliefs - neither would budge - - -

So off we marched to the City Hall, and set a date for a civil ceremony. We told our parents that we did not want to have all this fuss.

It, of course, made both sets of parents mad.

In the end, S.C. and I married at the City Hall, in a simple Civil Ceremony. Only the immediate families attended.
Then, my father-in-law hosted a luncheon for the family - my parents did not attend it.
The same evening, my parents hosted a Dinner for a couple hundred of guests. my in-laws did not attend it.
And a month or so later, my in-laws hosted an elaborate Tea for over 500 people at the world famous Peninsula Hotel in Kowloon -  a big ado.

My mother fixed up one of her apartments for us  and charged us a reduced rent.

S.C. eventually got a teaching job in a High School on the island.

Thus, we started our life together in HK.