LIfe Is Not A Bowl Of Cherries

"The sooner you start to number your days the better you'll live the days that you have."  

I am trying to do that now. I try to make everyday of the rest of my life count, at least for me personally. 
Every one's life is numbered. The difference is in the numbers.
My husband did not feel the same way.

Memory - "We do not remember the same things, not in the same way."
How true that is!

"Conquer worry and fear."  
It is certainly easier said than done.

If I had come across some these wise sayings in my younger days, would my life be any different from what they had been? 

One day, not too long after I started my Real Estate Business, I received a phone call from my husband's secretary.
"Now, don't be upset," she said. 
If someone says that to you, what he or she means is: whatever he or she is gong to tell you is something that you should or would be upset about.
She then told me that S. C. had a heart attack. 

S.C. had gone on a job in the northeastern part of Oklahoma. On the second day after work, he felt bad. He blamed it on the food he ate. The next morning, he could not get out of the bed. 
He was able to call for help and was taken to the hospital.
The doctor said that he had suffered a severe heart attack.
I told my girls the bad news; then I left them by themselves, and drove the two or three hundred miles up to the hospital. I made it up there, but I don't recall much about the trip. 
He did not look good.
He did recover from the heart attack. However, he never worked again.
I cannot remember exactly how everything happened - the long and short of it was, the section he was in had problems, the group had difficulties with their supervisor, and the section was in the process of being eliminated - which meant that he was again being RIFT. He was under a lot of stress.

Having a heart attack impacted him so severely the he was in a constant state of depression. 
The fact that I had come out of being a mere housewife and started my own business also did affect him. He was old-fashioned. He did not want me to work.
He did not like the fact that I had my own bank accounts. But how could you run a business without a bank account? I also needed my personal account.
He did not like the fact that I bought a car without consulting him.
He told the girls, "Mama doesn't need me any more."
Mostly, he did not like being known as Loretta' husband. But I was known simply as his wife for many years. Did he not remember?

His ego was deflated. He felt that he lost control.
I told him that I was trying to built up a business and I was doing it for both of us. I did not think he listened.

The idea that he was going to die soon was not only on his mind constantly, he talked about it all the time.
I said that we all die eventually. We just didn't know when. But even the healthy ones could die unexpectedly any time. He would not listen.

I suppose that I did not fully understand the Worry and the Fear he had. I know many a heart attack survivor had the fear that they would die any time. But any of us could die any time. Am I right or wrong? 
You would say the odds are not in their favor.
I do understand. But do we need to be obsessed about death and dying?

For a while, after he recovered from his heart attack, he could still do a little fishing and some hunting. In time, he had to give up his hobbies. His diabetes was affecting his feet and sight. Life was not pleasant for him.
I cannot remember how many times that he had to have surgery - the aneurysm, the gall bladder, the heart (in later years). . .

But life is not a bowl of cherries, is it?

I was even more determined that I was going to Make It in my business!